Bad Self Portraits Unpack Religious Trauma on Album Title Track, “I Think I’m Going to Hell”

“I Think I’m Going To Hell” captures the band at their most raw and vulnerable. Written by lead vocalist Ingrid Howell, the song recounts a formative childhood memory through the lens of undiagnosed OCD and religious anxiety.

“’I Think I’m Going To Hell’ is about my traits of OCD, ASD, and anxiety starting when I was a little kid,” Howell shares. “I was roughly five or six years old in the memory that this all stems from, and I stole a single peanut from the grocery store. I had never purposefully done anything wrong before, and wanted to test what could happen, so I ate the peanut in my room, put the shell in my locked diary, and hid the key above the trim on the inside of my closet. No one caught me, but I knew the ‘man in the sky’ saw me, and I was worried that he’d probably tell my great grandparents too. This song describes the thoughts I had surrounding that fear while growing up, feeling like God couldn’t save me, and ultimately trying to figure out how to process religious trauma.”

The new single follows the album’s first two releases: the introspective and gently defiant “Pensive,” and the unflinching “All Bark No Bite,” a blistering portrait of Howell’s relationship with her mother. Together, the three tracks form the emotional backbone of I Think I’m Going To Hell – a bold, emotionally articulate debut that explores grief, mental health, faith, and family dynamics with fearless specificity.

The album arrives as the third release from Buy Before You Stream, an artist-first initiative that allows fans to purchase exclusive vinyl editions directly from the artist before the music hits streaming platforms. Launched by nonprofit innovation lab Midtopia and pressed by Third Man Pressing, the program gives artists full control of their work while fostering meaningful artist-to-fan relationships outside the constraints of the digital marketplace.

For Bad Self Portraits, this model offers a long-awaited sense of closure. Their first record was never pressed to vinyl due to production issues, making this upcoming release especially significant. “Vinyl feels like a time capsule,” says drummer Jesse White. “It’s about preserving a record of who we were when we made it.”

Formed in Omaha in 2017 by longtime friends Howell, White, guitarist Cole Kempcke, and guitarist/keyboardist Connor Paintin, Bad Self Portraits has become known for their emotionally charged songwriting, magnetic live performances, and willingness to dive headfirst into uncomfortable truths. The band will hit the road ahead of the vinyl release, with a one-week tour including stops in Wichita, Denver, Fort Collins, Colorado Springs, Oklahoma City, Kansas City, and a hometown album release show in Omaha on September 20th.

For more information and to purchase tickets, please visit badselfportraits.com. To pre-order I Think I’m Going to Hell on vinyl, please visit buybeforeyoustream.com.

ABOUT MIDTOPIA
Midtopia seeks to establish sustainable and equitable opportunities for independent artists and music workers via concepts for contributive partnerships and alternative business models that harness the connected, collaborative power of interdependence. This alternative to current music industry models is based on a philosophy of “do it ourselves” invoking greater cohesion to strengthen and build equity among artists and music workers, regardless of geographical location or current industry status. Like an intricate network of roots beneath a tree, this multidisciplinary collaboration will enhance these concepts giving artists and workers the ability to cultivate more sustainable growth, strengthen independence, fortify community, and propagate truly unique creative identities. Learn more at midtopia.com.

ABOUT BUY BEFORE YOU STREAM
Buy Before You Stream is a community-driven initiative that allows fans to purchase exclusive vinyl editions of albums directly from the artist before they hit streaming platforms. 100% of the profits go directly to the artists, ensuring they maintain control over their work and generate meaningful income. The initiative fosters direct artist-to-fan relationships, supports local record stores, and promotes sustainability in the music industry.

ABOUT THIRD MAN PRESSING
Third Man Pressing is a meticulously designed boutique vinyl record production facility with a unique customer experience that includes a viewing window for our visitors to witness the beauty and importance of the record making process. Third Man Pressing is an investment in Third Man Records’ hometown, a neighborhood within a city rich with musical history, creating a space that is as inspiring as it is prolific.

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